I did understood, when my son and some others where saved by God, that it is meaningless, to speak, when God does not want it.
It is meaningless to write thousand good books about real stories with proof and learned wisdom, if..

those words dont come from God to right moment to the right people.

i did share some of my experiences. i wont write everything here, because many of, that i did learn, is just too soon for someone.
i cant write everything, because there are secrets for spiritual people, that baby christians can use just to harm themselves.

It is no meaning to teach you – that blog. It is just to engourage to find The Teacher, know that it is possible to audible talk with Him.
This blog is encourage those, who, while seeking honestly God, are in “fire” of cleaning process. i almost did stop seeking God at that moment, because it was scary and painful and enemy didnt loose chance to make me doubt in God and in He’s love.

But it is all here now – most basic, you should know.

After months of seeking here something real and finding just people, who care only about they health and good life, fame and money, i say “farewell”.

I did seek for years, someone, who know God.


My heart were stoned and get cold because i didnt find any truth online.

It is time to stop it. I care about time and seek for God’s will. He allowed to get me that lesson, see reality.
0 – say all.

God told me once:

“I have nothing to say, until they seek for health and good life!”

I wish you could finally DO, what Jesus teach and talk with God, AUDIBLE. Every lesson, He give, are so fascinating, exciting, new and sometimes full of adventures…





You are wrong, because You don’t know the scritpure..

Signs in the heaven, weird clouds.. all that crap is full of youtube, even though most of videos are just natural and normal events, happening in certain conditions. I did spend some time in youth, look how clouds are formatted – 99% of those videos are just ignorance of natural laws.

right, what make me more angry is, that christians share those videos, like last day.. something or revelation… something or truth (yeah right..) something or understanding climate change.. something and so on – all they use Bible to look more trustful… But what Bible really say about clouds and “signs” in the heaven?

Do not learn the ways of the nations
    or be terrified by signs in the heavens,
    though the nations are terrified by them.
Jeremiah 10: 1

let’s go on. christmas.

For the practices of the peoples are worthless;
    they cut a tree out of the forest,
    and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.
They adorn it with silver and gold;
    they fasten it with hammer and nails
    so it will not totter.
Jeremiah 10: 2-3

i know only 1 tree, traited so – yul tree or christmas tree.

They are all senseless and foolish;
    they are taught by worthless wooden idols.

That is, how God name christmas tree – wooden idol!
and God call that tree “Like a scarecrow in a cucumber field”




oddity with christmas – why i stopped celebrate it.

many years ago, year after year, i noticed, that, every time i plan celebrate christmas – i’m totally out of money, sometimes for several months.

i didnt liked it.

so i did once something – i did spend as less money, as i could. very poor menu for a month, no gifts, even didnt allow to my kids go to any celebrations. they were sad, but i asked them just trust me and see, what happens.

every year , since yanuary, we had big problems with money. they were sometimes  really odd.

but not this year, i decide to do OPPOSITE ON ALL HOLIDAY RULES AND TRADITIONS. ON ALL!

hmmm… so i did repeat it next year and at third year – same.

and more – no problems with payments and money for all year!

God didnt explain me it yet. But once He told me

Which is popular and beloved in the world, My cildren should avoid!

i think, it’s one explanation, but i feel, there is more, but, as i know God, i am not ready yet for more. But this is clear sign!

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Mt 6 :31-33

so – keeping something, like almost fasting whole december + no gifts + no events, just silent and prayer time whole month = no problem with money whole year, also , for a example

my youngest son hate pants with zip ( o.O  ) i had tto mention, tat last years, time to time, we find, after i follow Holy Spirit leadings, beautiful pants with no zip, that also suits very good and look nice and are cheapest, that usually o.O … also many other things, and it happens  almost every month something like that, for … 5 years or so. also… ohh, there is a lot ot tell – just try it once.

I know for sure – God HATE yule-tree. but doing opposite to all habbits – seems He love it even more…

oh, btw, after so many perfect gifts, my kids dont care about christmas anymore – even more – they keep eye on me, that i dont make any mistake even with one word – they really love God’s gifts  😀

Problem with christianity

I thought today, why non-christians make jokes over us and… are right?
Why there is false teachings in (all? couldnt find even ONE 100% truth sharing church yet) churches?
Why so many posts they problems, that do not have direct answer in the Bible and have long (sometimes years long) disputes and still getting nowhere?
Why people stop believing?

and so on

i have my struggles – self-discipline, holding on (its hard, if alone for tenth of years).
but, after i did ask some questions from pastor and getting answers, that made me feel “something is wrong here”, i never ask from people answers. I did stop seeking truth from them. I trust only God, He’s explanations with quotes from Bible and MY life experiences, JUST HIM. I did stop trust even my own mind, often – always asking from Him – did i understood it right?

That’s why disputes dont end, churches have false teachings, pastors lie, because they dont know truth and so on. Thats why christianity been ridiculed by non-christians and 99% THEY ARE RIGHT! It is one problem, if they dont accept truth, another is, if they dont accept, what you say, because YOU ARE NOT SURE, or “SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT HERE”!

if you just STOP SEEKING TRUTH FROM PEOPLE AND START SEEKING IT FROM GOD… there would be amazing miracles and noone never dare laugh over christians anymore – 2000 years ago people accepted or not, but didnt laugh. They did fight against christians – because they faith was alive and they WERE GOD’S CHILDREN!

But now – they fight against us, because there is no truth in us and they feel it – GOD DONT LET HIM BE MOCKED EVEN BY CHRISTIANS – THERE IS ALWAYS JUST ONE TRUTH!!! ONE JESUS! ONE FATHER! ONE HOLY SPIRIT! ONE WAY!

i dont mind read posts by non-christians – they problems and worries, but I HATE READ CHRISTIANS POSTS!!! why? no life flows there… encouraging for some minutes, maybe days, but NO LIFE WATERS, that change people’s life.

i am angry, i cry every time, when i visit wordpress to read posts. that’s killing my hope..


if world love you – you have serious problems

if world laugh over you, but dont hate – you have serious problems

if you are left ashamed – you have serious problems

its all there, in the Bible

it is time to find God and ASK HIM, what is true, not from people.

there is nothing wrong loosing hope, courage and faith sometimes. but something is really wrong, if you loose it forever… then you never didnt had faith. then you never didnt seek honestly truth. because, and i know it from my life and my kids life – GOD IS EASY TO FIND IN HARD TIMES!!!

so stop seeking excuses, but start seeking solutions, my advice – it was, when my life did start and miracles is now common in my life, normal part of it…

Worldly wisdom

Today i wanted to suggest my daughter to read one blog, i saw here, on WordPress.
At that moment God did stop me, saying:
Don’t do it, it’s a worldly wisdom.
me – but that woman is right.
God – she may be right, but are you’rs daughter ready for it? Worldly wisdom is, even if right, it may be just not on time. Wisdom from above is always right time on right place, with right words. She don’t need that bloggers advice, she need’s Me.

Why woman should not be a pastor?

it is just my oppinion.
Note: I do believe, woman CAN be pastor, IF there is one, who walk in Spirit AND God decided that way. But only in that situation.
First of all, i have a bit of experience, what means act and be like a man. It was almost 10 years i had to be a man-like, warrior. My only friends were then men and my sister. My interest then was – understand how men think and who are they – in deep heart. And i had many men around me, who did take me … well almost equally. Almost, because i was attractive and they had time to time problems to forget, that i am woman. Still, we did talk for hours about, who is man.
When i honestly told God once – i still dont get it, just for few minutes, He did show me like a vision with feelings, what it means – be a man.
What can i say – it was strange world for me, yet so much were common to women, still… 
After that experience, i understand, why woman, as a leader.. and yes – i was a leader also, that i still hate to be, is worse then a man. USUALLY

It’s because who we are – emotional, gentle, defensive.  It is mostly,  because who we are, hard to keep order. Just look at man, who keeps kindergarden and woman – where is more peaceful and more order? Feelings are important, but keep them under control – it is not our nature, even we learn it sooner or later and become sometimes much better in it , then men. Yet – it is not our nature and it harm to us, if we have to be like this for too long – personal experience. I and most women, i met, just “blow” sooner or later. For me it did mean, that i didnt want to see for some days anyone. But sometimes it was impossible, because troubles dont ask – can we come now?  It brings often a lot of chaos and that is, church cant allow to themselves.

There is some things more, but it is hard to express them in words for now yet. I never had to explain it, what i did see, when God did show me that… vision? more like vision + feelings. There are women, who may be pastors. There were women, who did rule over whole nation of Israel. One of them was married. And i believe, that there is no matter, are you woman or man, for God. If you are under leading of Holy Spirit – you dont sin. And who is best pastor for church, if not that one, who already walk in Spirit 24/7, that we could see and learn and be encouraged? There – under leading of Holy Spirit, it really does not matter, who is pastor, but it is good for flesh christians – they need rules from Bible yet. God told me once – Scriptures are safety belts for babies. Who need rules, when already walk in Spirit? Holy Spirit KEEP us IN rules, that are sometimes higher, then WE understand and see from Bible. There is A LOT of hidden, we dont see yet. One of those hidden things is – there is no difference between man and woman for God. So, if He think, you should be a pastor – even woman – who are we, to say to Him – He is wrong? Thing is – did any pastor even asked it??? Even man-pastor?

Rock, we stand on.

I did read, for now, hundreds of posts. About everything about Bible, christianity, e.t.c even posts from ex-christians.I did start share God’s first message years ago:

 I like to talk with all Mychildren, but few is, who WANTS to listen.

   First i was amazed, that there is christians, who dont want to talk with God. I couldnt believe it, until did face reality.
Some claim, we have to believe without proofs (nonsense –  love the truth – one of basics, God stand in the Bible and truth is – FACTS and REALITY, but facts ARE proof!),
some claim that we cant hear God audible…
Now, after reading so many posts, people write, and DONT SEE ANY REAL EXPERIENCE THERE, i mean – something, that happens, like RULE ( IT’s PROOF ALSO, calling REALITY) or something, that have witnesses … or other proofs.
I read posts, where are just nice words and NOTHING, i could try too…
I read posts where people claim, they lost they faith, because Jesus is just a man or even didnt exict.

After all that, searching someone with real experience. someone who did face something, asked God – Why? and did get answer, that line up with Bible, have common sense and logic (FIRST THING GOD DID START TO TEACH ME)…
i suddenly understood, when remembered 3 steps every christians should go through, in that order:
1) proofs
2) cleaning
3) consecration
i understood, that, what is missing, is – first step.
But it is ROCK we stand on, in the stormy times. Rock, that dont fall a part and our house (faith) will stand.
I did admit to God, that i still have doubts, even did go through many  wonders for that time. Know what He did? He did touch me, physically. First He did want me to see He’s glory – well, i couldnt stand long, watching light, that is ALIVE. just light, that did hurt my eyes, physically and my heart did start hurt.. also physically (that’s why we cant watch Him – we will die, i know it now, because PAIN of OUR SINS will kill us), then He did touch me. And that was last confirmation. I did open my eyes and said to Him – now i dont believe, now i know.
EVEN after that i did go through painful times with doubt and loosing hope… but i never didnt lost my faith – i cant loose faith, if i know.
You say –

Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
John 20:29

i say –

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
Revelation 3:20

Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.
John 14:21

tell me, why then Jesus did promise to manifest Himself to everyone, who keep He’s commandments, if “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”???
Jesus wants to take away blessing from us ????!!!!
Why i dont see others, who have they OWN testimony (required to win satan!!! )

And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony,
Revelation 12:11

not with testimony of John or Mark!!! THEY OWN testimony…  if yours testimony are true, then you HAVE FACTS AND PROOFS!… AND THAT IS ROCK – TRUTH – YOU WILL WIN SATAN AND STAND, WHAT EVER HAPPENS!

i did. still stand on my real experiences and Bible and testimony of Holy Spirit in my heart.

no storm was strong enough to kill my faith – you CANT destroy… reality.